my cold cold heart is melting.. actually i am quite the romantic.. don't laugh.. it is very true.. liking (appreciating) something and believing in it is 2 different things.



an old old friend who i met through the internet, no less -way back in the mid 90's and lost touch for sometime found me again. and he's preparing for his wedding and they have a sweet website with the pictures and all and embedded with the song a lover's concerto which I really liked but have not heard in some time.. these are more mushy mushy songs for these romantic occasion really...

i love it when guys are excited about their weddings.. and especially when you see wedding pictures that the couple is not just trying to look good for the camera but you can see that they are so happy with each other..

women are ''usually'' very 'lets get married NOW, NOW!!' ... so that is mmm.... but when a guy gets all worked up about it and start emitting this vibe.. of i am going the marry the greatest love of my life, i have found the most perfect girl for me... i love her so so much..

for me that is really touching..

for other men it is irritating i guess when other men gushes about their spouse .. but i think... damn you lucky girl..

do not misconstrue that this post means that my clock is finally ticking... tick tock.. and i am running to the aisle and getting a baby soon.. puuuuhhhh.. but just sometimes i too feel happiness over all this mushy stuff.. like i said, i am incredibly romantic.. i just hide it well.. hahahha

a old friend of mine whom I have known since high school is what you will call a male version of me.. just more 'devious'- although he would disagree but he would be the guy who does things what i will do if i was a guy.. hahhaha.. although some are morally shady but heck all is fair in love and war right? he was always the 'good' friend and all round nice guy..

we haven't been keeping in touch much.. real life does that to you. but we do once in a while send each other short messages and he's on my facebook and friendster so that means we are in touch right???

NOPPEE.. because he got married recently and mm.. i didn't even see all the pictures on facebook... granted that I have a large number of people so my latest feed is always fast moving and 20% of these people I don't even know... these days I don't add anyone without a common friend with me any more...

main story was that this bachelor at heart (who always had a gf) is now married.. happily married with a girl he was dating for 8 years and it's all great and sweet. i am reallyyy happy for him.. and from his pictures I saw some common friends.. and puhhhh.. wam wam wam....more married people with kiddies..

in fact now i have more friends posting babies pictures than anything else... when did that happen?

seems that everyone moved on to the next phase of their lives.. while i remain... me...

i think i have not changed much in the last ten years and when I was in school most people always commented on how *ahem* mature I am.. yuppp.... but i guess it now means i am the immature one left.. still living like a kid...

still a kid at heart.. looking for her next adventure.

and honestly, cross my heart- I do not have the slightest urge to get married and procreate... a world with little adelaines... the horror...!!

now I am worried that i will be those 40 year olds who still go parties and live and act like they are 20 while other people just shake their heads and pity them for 'missing the boat'.

i wonder...

what will be will be...