this is really not a big thing in Germany much to my disappointment.. guess it has always been more of a American thingeee..

so no chance to dress up and go crazy.. next time i want to try and celebrate it in the US.. hohoho.. maybe next year, just have to plan ahead.. there is so many things to do.. so many places to go.. but so little time and so little money!!! uurrrggghh..

i have also been busy busy busy.. with what?? god knows.. day to day work and slacking off the rest of the time..
I also am now starting a concious effort to meet people and make friends... i think i should have a group of people that i can hang around with and talk about nothing!! just nothing..

it does seem that it is a positive steep forward with my last gathering of 'english speaking people in Köln'.. and I'm meeting them again next week.. later today I am going to join some people i met in my German class... usually I just shy away from meeting people I don't know, was never particulary keen to meet new people.. so this is pretty new to me.. but everyone tellsssssss me that i'm a very social person.. mmm.. i dun know- i think the world's impression of me and how I feel are different.. actually i think i am pretty anti social..


anyways, like they say:

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.

I also believe there is only 2 mistakes on the road to self improvement.. so I am starting and making sure I stay on course.. okie dokie.. see you at the end. ^^,

p.s: must be because its halloween.. the text in this post just wouldn't stay right.. i wonder why.. °.°

really.. work has been stressful.. for every single customer that is understanding and helpful you have 3 which are looniessssss.. some are just basically trying to make your life difficult, so are just thinks they know better, others just want to squeeze you dry and some are just plain clueless...

for every one problem solved, another 3 appears.

and lets not forget about the daily frustrations with the head office- but i have since then taken it easy and kept my distance far and expectations low.. it workssss!

having said all that i think my impatience with people has something to do with the fact that i dun particularly like this job.. never did..

having no passion for the job of course does not mean that I dun try to do the best I can.. I try my best possible, just that I don't do it happily hahahaha... but still the job pay the bills and gives me extra to pursue some other 'endeavours' which I am passionate about.

I am trying new approaches in trying to find some balance in my life as well as a direction forward. If I don't I think i will loose my sanity and slump into depression.. nah, it is not that serious.. i will just be grouchy and hard to life with..

i picked up my lazy ass last week and did a totally crazy thing.. i went for a meet up.. like those long ago days of IRC gatherings- only this time it is a forum for English speaking expat in Germany.. I did not know anyone in particular, just decided to pick an event and attend..

crazy huh?

but i did turn out well, i met people whom i liked.. and I think I will want to see more off.. which is good.. i need people my age.. or rather i should say single or childless independent traveller whom I could do things like travelling, eating, hiking with..

i also notice that I have some manufacturing defect in me.. the alarm for my biological clock is not ringing.. clock is ticking yes.. but I can't here or feel it and definitely do not feeeeeeelllll the urge to have children!! whenever i do i just try to expose myself over a prolonged period to kids and i am instantly reminded that I can just borrow them, I do not need my own..

I think i make a good aunt but as a mother i don't think i can deal with all the attention that someone needs from me all day, all the time, always.. i am just too selfish for this role. I was also a horror as a child as most family friends will happily tell you.. I can't remember but was told that i was this crying machine that would wail at anything-anyone new, unfamiliar or just for no reason.. I was an extremely difficult child they remembered.. which such bad experience i wonder how my parents still decided that they wanted another one.. people don't learn huh? But my brother turn out to be really low maintainence.. so their gamble paid off..

for me, i have a feeling it will be bad karma and i will have to pay for my past misdeeds.. hahaha so maybe just swear off the children part..

one last good news.. i was accepted and will start a MBA program in January. yipppeeee!! (i think), this will make me busier and of course.. muccchhh poorer.. again thanks to the job which i hate, i get a chance to do this.. the university is one of the best in UK and the fees are steep, if I would not be working here- I can't afford it in Malaysia. Actually most probally could but I would have to stay at home and life very frugallyyyyyy... it is also not that I earn much more here.. after all the deduction my bring home pay is just about 50% than my pay in Malaysia with the currency conversion.. and cost of living here is definately 300%-500% more. Each McDonalds meal is 5 time more than what I will have to pay in Malaysia.. but here i hardly go out, so I can save more $$. Plus now I learn that further education is tax deductable in Germany, i could get some of my cost back the following year.. not bad....

In any case, it take 3 years for the MBA and by then, i can leave this job and have more doors open for me...

we will see.. so sings the song 'que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future is not ours to see, que sera sera..'

it is monday and the days are getting colder... where have all the good times gone...

anyways.. after a HUGEEEEEE phone bill which could have bought me a LV bag last month i signed up for a flatrate from house house phone to any other landlines in the following countries..

Argentinien, Brasilien, Chile, Venezuela, Island, Israel, Bulgarien, Estland, Georgien, Kroatien, Rumänien, Russische Föderation, Slowak. Republik, Slowenien, Türkei, Ungarn, Zypern, Südafrika, China, Japan, Hongkong, Taiwan, Singapur, Malaysia, Neuseeland

random isn't it? well that's germany for you..

so starting tomorrow... again a random start date.. i get to call at 15 Euro a month as much as I want.. only here is the problem.. i have no1 to call..

really...

i am not the chit chatty sort of person on the phone. i dun call much unless i have something to say or there is an occassion... i call my boyfriend most often and my family 2nd. that's about it...

and here is the blow.. my boyfriend can't remember where he put the housephone and thinks it is not necessary to talk so much on the phone in any case.

really i think i am jst ignoring all the signs that our relationship is going wayyyyyyyy south :(

my beloved parents also don't think it is necessary yet to apply for a housephone and said there isn't much to talk over the phone in any case.. huh? Just sms is enough said my mum.. these are the people that always complain I never call...

shhheessshhh...

so so sad...

one day if i get bored senseless, i think i will start ringing my friends.. only these days i don't have anyones house number anymore.. just mobile..

ahh.. also i made my first post on my travelogue..

weekend.. and the joys of being alone.. people are pretty concerned by the fact that i am alone here.. and ya sometimes it is pretty lonely.. i miss fimiliar faces, familar food of course.. but im also not just about to dash out and meet new people... having time yourself can be pretty relaxing!!! and that's something i dun have much of in malaysia...

yesterday was mostly house cleaning, laundry doing, grocery shopping and i cooked some spagetti for dinner which half went to become lunch this morning.. this afternoon i made rosti and sautee champignons. Open a bottle of wine and had some yogurt and here i am watching BCC and blogging.. :) what a nie day...

so i cooked.. this is something which i guess everyone does.. but for me.. well.. not so much.. or rather not so "can" hahahah.. but with the extra time on my hands.. i try.. plus i am too lazy to go out...

i also found the secret of cooking for one.. when possible try to cook something which you can store and u can have it for 2 meals.. i am not a picky eater and i dun mind eating the same thing over again so it is fine..

the good thing about cooking here is also the fresh stuff you can get here.. champignon in Malaysia are mostly canned.. fresh ones are kept way pass the time they should or not handled well making it more brownish then anything else.. of course when you sautee them you can't see if but... when i buy them i know..

we tried once to import fresh champignon to malaysia but found that the market did not want high quality fresh champignon but are more fixated with low prices.. the biggets buyers are from HORECA an industry term for hotel, restauraunt and catering and they didn't mind that it was brownish! retailers also want them cheap cheap and kept it on the shelves for way longer that they should.. so... so.. anyways.. here is the fresh champignons that i sliced before hey are sauteed in butter :)

and here is my patotoes...


ya simple simple cooking... most probally everything i cooked can be rated one out of 5 stars for difficulties.

Here's what I cooked last week.. potato rice with salmon.. hahaha.. as you i buy some ingredients and recook it over and over again..



so what's next? I want to try and bake something... but next weekend i have visitors.. so we will see. :)

if only tomorrow's not Monday.. :(

So here i am doing some service for my community and bringing myself to invade some poor little village in germany..

how ius life.. busy for the last few weeks so much so that my normal schedule was a little chaotic and i did not manage to do most of my housework. but that has been solve and i am doing my last laundry and i will be back on target.

there has been some drastic changes in the market.. the credit crunch, stock market meltdown, bearish market whatever u call them doesn't seem to go away.. i guess people knew it was coming.. the ridiculous prices of property, the greedy invesment people or uncontrolled market speculations has to bring us some where.. when some people earn billions of dollars a year and some company fly the board on private jets to exotic destinations for meeting cum holidays... while firms job cut and the average employee makes an salary increase of less that the "felt" in flation rate.. the divide of rich and poor is just getting wider...

asia was hit hard by a similiar situation in 1997-98.. i remember this very much banks were closing down and people lost job, money really driven to the wall.. the asian currency fell by so much that many people who was just getting by had to recall their kids back from overseas university overseas.

what was sad i feel was that i remembered the IMF telling these poor countries like us south east asian countries that this is natural and should just let it happened and let it recover naturally... i dun know if you could still remember this.. if you are from asia you would.. malaysia however came in to bail out all the banks.. not that we were a big economy but without it surely our banks too would collapse and we would loose our savings, car and houses on lease..

this was criticised also i remember as the goverment bailing out their people as most banks are own by what people believe to be cronies of some major political leader or the other.... but whatever the reason might be some steps taken by the goverment including the bailout of banks, the pegging of the local currency to the dollar brought some stability to our economy and we did not free fall like some of our neighbours...

what i am kinna upset about is how differrent the expert advise the IMF advise is for the crisis this time around.. as it hits the developed economies direct.. a bail out is a must.. some concerted action is necessary.. push push push..

but if it happens to a country like indonesia or korea.. well just let them get through it don't cha.. they already have miserable lives it can't be worse..

for the record i support the bail out.. i don't think that hardworking people should loose their savings.. hard earn savings AND I also believes help should be given to smaller poorer countries and not let them rot and die. But it irkes me that CEO, big exe get away with it when they make all the bad decisions but get a big payoff instead.. if you didn't know what you are getting into.. you have no business investing peoople's hard earned money.. if you went with an intention to cheat then you are a criminal.. yet justice is indeed blind...

sad sad sad.. as people loose jobs, loose their house and business.. i pray that we learn from it and not that in 2018, again .. ta da da da.

having said all the above non sensical things from a person with no economic background and even less ca$h and value to her name.. this is just my musing as a middleclass layman.